Poetry: Closure

The only thing that closure ever did for me…

was open doors.

Its been a year and I still haven’t figured out how to shut you out.

There is a fence around my house that is just barely high enough for you NOT to climb over.

I built it myself.

Just for you.

I set up road blocks around my heart. There is no detour that would lead you to it.

All of the highways are closed off due to the damage caused by a storm named after you.

For 2 inconsistent years, I looked into the windows of your soul and got lost in the most dangerous place to be in a hurricane.

Your eyes.

I wrapped caution tape around my body like everyday is an ABC party. I figured the least I could do was warn them.

I’m off limits.

I put my healing heart behind a glass case with a sign that says “Break in case of emergency” because if my being is ever at risk again for falling for you, I pray that someone doesn’t spare me the cold reality.

I hope that they break my heart before you do.

All communication between us was blocked off. No texting, no sexting, no DMs, WYDs or IMUs at 2 am.

and it was all for my own good.

So, imagine my surprise finding out that there is no mental block that I can use to get rid of you.

There is no delete button to remove you from my memories.

One glimpse of you and all interactions are restored and filed accordingly.

There is no unsubscribe option for your many appearances in my dreams.

I wish I could OPT out.

I tried to get over you.

I tried to stay away from you.

I tried to forget you.

I tried to forgive you.

I tried to shut a door that you never even cared enough to knock at.

Because I know that if you did, I’d let you in.

Because if you came to my fence, I’d remove the padlock.

If you got lost on the way to me, I’d give you my new address.

 ALL I’ve ever done for you was keep the door cracked.

And the only thing closure ever did for me was open it back.

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