A few days ago, I came across a series of personal questions that were supposed to reflect the internal conflicts of each of the 12 zodiac signs. A few twitter users commented with responses like “thought provoking”, “triggering or “spot on” in regards to how much it resonated with them. After reading the questions tailored for the Gemini zodiac sign, their responses made perfect sense. Whoever created the questions really did some research on the temperament and patterns of each sign. While I could never answer from any perspective but my own, I decided to take a jab at the questions that applied to my sign:
Questions for Gemini:
Will you ever learn to appreciate the people around you and realize all that they do for you?
This one is tough for me because I don’t think I have this issue but then again, wouldn’t that be evidence that I have the problem in the first place? Still, here’s why I feel it doesn’t apply:
I don’t forget anything you do for me. In fact, I obsess over it. I take note of it and store it. This is not to keep count. It is because I am prone to feeling like I owe someone for every kind gesture. For example: showing up to to an event, holding a door, picking up the tab on a meal, sending a card on my birthday, listening to me vent, walking my dog etc. speaks volumes to me. I think it has a lot to do with what I consider love and how I love others. I scored highest on “Acts of Service” (and “Words of Affirmation”) when I took the 5 love languages test. Because of how much value I personally place on this, I truly feel obligated to return the smallest favor. Typically, it is equal to what the person did for me. For example, if you paid for my meal, I’ll pay for yours. If you show up for a huge milestone of mine, it is mandatory that I show up for yours. I feel terrible if I don’t. Now this is not to say that I ONLY do things for people who do them for me because again, this is how I show others that I love them too. More so, I feel the need to constantly reciprocate where as someone else may just take it at face value and just say thank you for the gesture.
Do you care that you hurt people’s feelings when you leave them in the dust?
Okay, before you judge this response, please know that I am aware that some of my relational patterns are unhealthy. Trust me, I’m my biggest critic!
I can’t speak for every Gemini, but I, for one, am EXTREMELY sensitive. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I care about people’s feelings, I promise. But, for the sake of transparency, I have to admit that I am guilty of “leaving people in the dust” and I stand behind the saying, “out of sight, out of mind.” Please hear me out: I would never want to intentionally hurt anyone! But there have been instances where I chose my feelings over someone else’s.
The first instance is if I am legitimately hurt by something that someone said or did. I mean seriously hurt to the point of no return. Yes, remembering what you do for me can be a positive thing. However, the con is I don’t forget what you do TO ME either . It plays over and over in my head. Being as sensitive as I am, my normal response is to cut ties. It’s not healthy but it’s the truth. I learned recently that I can’t blame others and be blessed so I have to work on that for ME.
The second instance is much more common than the first. It involves my patterns in romantic relationships. Often times, I begin to feel suffocated, weighed down, smothered early on and my normal response is to run *inserts track girl emoji*. I try to warn them of this pattern but in every single case, it doesn’t matter what I say. I’m sure an ex or a “potential” from once upon a time can attest to the fact that it is very hard to keep me interested. I’m here to today and bored tomorrow. From there, the conversation dies out, the response time takes longer, my enthusiasm fades and I withdraw… They can feel it. So, I tell them what I knew to be inevitable. Sometimes, they accept it.Cool. Sometimes, they don’t and try to force it. Sadly, my response is to jet *inserts jimmy neutron gif*. I don’t know why I’m this way. I beat myself up about it. I think i’m afraid to settle for a lukewarm kind of love. But that’s a post for another day. Anyway, the question was do I care that I hurt them when I leave?
Most definitely! That’s why I try to warn them that the only thing that I’m consistent about is being inconsistent! So to my almost lovers, who never made it past the door, I’m sorry. But, you can’t say that I didn’t tell you.
When will you tell someone how you are actually feeling without covering it up with humor?
Did you check out my bio introduction of myself where I said I majored in Communication and minored in…SARCASM? It’s second nature. Its just the way I communicate. On more serious matters, I know it would be more helpful to just say what I feel but I guess part of it is this insecurity that the person will just downplay my feelings or won’t understand where I’m coming from. I’ve gotten that a lot. So, I can admit that I’m guilty of passive aggressive behaviors. The question was when will I tell someone? I do. Too bad its after a series of things have built up over time (also, not very good). This goes back to keeping score in my head!
Do you know that there are people out there who will love everything about you, even the bad things?
I’ve heard about those beautiful people and I am afraid of them. This question is triggering for me. Because I’m sure they exist, but my biggest fear is that I will wreck them. I know, I know. They’ll love me anyway. But I don’t want them to come near me until I love myself. I mean overall, I love me but there are things I would change of course. After all, loving yourself isn’t a one time thing that you just wake up and decide and then its settled. At least, I don’t think it is. No, no, no. I think you have to wake up everyday, face yourself and find that love all over again for every part of you. I think it is a constant and ongoing process and that some days will be harder than others. So yes, I know there are people who will love all of me but I think first, I have to focus on a steady love for myself.
Why do you run away from your problems?
I said in my prompt of the week that I have a habit of viewing exit signs as a safe havens. Whew. That’s a word. Sometimes, I run physically. I cope by taking a break from my world and the people in it. I live about 15 minutes from the beach so its where I go to clear my head. I don’t take anybody or tell anybody. I just go. And when I leave, I feel better even if it is only for a little while. Sometimes, I run on a much larger scale. If a situation feels permanent, you can bet that I am actively looking for a way out of it. If I’m unhappy in a job, relationship, friendship, living situation, class, career…I have this habit of thinking that there is a better substitute. I just don’t have it in me to stay in dysfunction. Chaos really takes a toll on me. So, I check out. It’s really just a defense mechanism and going back to my fear of being stuck. So that’s why I run. Its rare when I am ever truly satisfied. Check out my prompt response! I said that I needed a renewed mindset so that I could learn to be content with whatever I have and where I am.
So, this week I gave you layers. I gave you vulnerability and transparency. You are welcome to do the same. You can even reply anonymously if you’re shy! Answer any or all of the questions that apply to your zodiac sign! The questions are posted below.