The purpose of “Prompted” is to provide an outlet for myself and others to reflect on past experiences, personal goals and innermost desires. It is my hope that this exercise will encourage unconventional thinking and self awareness. Each week, I will provide a new prompt and post my response on the blog. Readers can comment with their responses on this post and read what others said here.
To: The King I Fell Hard For From: Yours Truly Subject: Summer Love ♥ NP: Thinking Bout You - Frank Ocean
Those violins come in and it’s the summer of 2012 again. The year of new beginnings; the summer of new love. Nothing I attempted seemed to fail and the world was at my feet. I didn’t yet know what it was like to love or to lose yourself in it, but I thought I did. I spent the first half of the summer weighing my options but by late June, he had tipped the scale.
I hear, “Or do you not think so far ahead?” and I remember what it felt like to see my life in a person.
I couldn’t help it. I had started a lot of things, but for the first time I was interested in finishing. I could feel “FOREVER” when he hit that high note in the chorus and I believed that I could give him that.
“No, it won’t ever get old, not in my soul, not in.. my spirit.. keep it alive.”
I hear this line and I feel like I’m 18 and hopeful and 22 and hopeless all at once. He sold me alluring dreams and I bought them with the little change that I had left in my pocket; I gambled my heart and soul for his affection. I spent it all. And I know it was my last, because I haven’t been able to afford it ever since. Open minded. Open hearted. Fearless. Unaware of what it might cost me if we lost it.
“Yes, I remember! How could I forget.. how you feel?”
I think of the phone conversation that lasted 5 hours, that 7 day absence, the meaning of 143 and the “4ever” that I imagined. I wasn’t afraid of love and what it would do to me; I was alive.
The song is timeless. I hear it and I know that I wouldn’t change a thing because even the pain that followed was worth the poetry that he gave me in exchange….
for that summer love.