I don’t want to want you.
But I knew the minute I leaned into the kiss that you had started, everything I buried was being dug back up just for you.
I got butterflies in my stomach like you didn’t take my heart and burn it to the ground. Now you’re using that flame to set my soul on fire.
I’m watching my desires devour and destroy me. How nice of you to buy me front row seats to my demise.
Still, I WANTED … to kiss you. Can you believe that? After everything. I spent the whole time thinking I want to kiss those lips. I think you did too.
But, we resist. For a while.
Could you feel the gravitational pull as we started off across the room with comfortable but cautious conversations that always get carried away?
Moths to light. Mouth to mouth.
Do you remember the last time…
..when I decided to move on?
…when you found someone new?
….when we agreed to be friends?
…when I couldn’t commit?
…when you couldn’t stop killing me softly… deeply… slowly…?
I do… but your eyes convince me to construct a case of amnesia.
The next thing I know, I’m pushed up against a wall and my mouth is on yours.
I’m lying on your chest and taking in giant gulps of your cologne.
I feel safe while I suffer in the arms of my serial spring fling.
I am dying at your hands but your lips awaken me.
Kiss me, I think.
But I start for the door.
“This is a mistake,” I say…
Then I lean in for more.
Tumblr Tuesdays: Before WordPress or Evoke Embody Evolve, for me, there was Tumblr. This is where it got real….raw…emotional..brutally honest. For years, I poured my frustrations into a password protected space. Now, each Tuesday, I’ll release an unpublished post just for you. Hear that?… That’s the sound of a classic coming up for air.